Dear Tumblr, NO.

17 Jul

11376501_883049091760910_1866599960_nI was told I was harsh and had a stick up my arse with a stick up its arse, to describe a certain type of Tumblr user as an utter brain amputee for their increasing tendency to write without punctuation or in all caps, on purpose, apparently in an attempt to sound urgent or excited. I guess authors of bestsellers have all bought and fellacio’ed their way to the top with all their periods and commas. I get it on Twitter. There, it is almost an art to maim your message so it’ll fit within the character limit, while still keeping it legible. But Tumblr? Oh, so those are kids. So was I when I won that short story competition at age 5, in my third goddamn language (English).

Is it harsh to cringe at how low the use of language has fallen? It seems too obvious that books are losing relevance with all the Netflix and what-have-you, while it’s known that reading books, not staring at a screen, enhances intelligence. And intelligence is what makes us homo SAPIENS, man of thought, and elevates us from Neanderthals. So allowing your intelligence to wither by not reading or otherwise minding your language (use and perception), basically equates the desire, or the acceptance, to rewrite humanity to the level of aforementioned apes.
Mind you, I am not putting down people with legitimate mental deficits. What the people my beef is with, are doing, is deliberately rotting their brains. Like you can’t help cursing when you have tourettes, but don’t get to call people names when you can help it.

Seriously, this isn’t cute, it isn’t funny, it isn’t deep, it isn’t special, and it isn’t edgy. It’s cringeworthy. Hell, try writing an SAT essay that way and see if any university worth it salt wants you.

Beyond intelligence, language is everything. Calling 911 won’t save you from impending death if you don’t manage to express yourself. The very act of dialling, is language. Language is what happens between people even when they don’tspeak, and still know all they need about their relationship. Language is basically what keeps us alive, because a mute baby is a starving one. Language is what gets life-saving meds out there. Language is how we learned of electricity and plumbing upon their invention. An air raid siren is language. So don’t tell me not to judge people for not worshipping and polishing LANGUAGE when they are neither dyslexic, nor otherwise excempt from responsibility.

Some say, “OMG it’s just casual writing vs. formal writing!”. This is me writing casually. I do not see the issue in not looking like a professional dodger of coat hangers. When you dress “casually”, do you wear your skid-marked undies, 20 weeks unwashed shirt, and moth-eaten pants? No? Why write casually on that exact same level?

Am I being a language Nazi, or is it really going to sh..?


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