Tag Archives: sex workers

Not the SWERFS again…

15 Apr

This article right here elicited a major cringe from me. Here’s why. Up front: I used to be a sex worker.

“We must be clear that the sexualisation of women places men in a position of superiority and impedes class struggle”

You know what, if I wanna sell sex, I am entitled to do so regardless of how others may feel about it. Also, customers are always in a position of superiority because they decide whether the business (person) survives or not – and men are the main customers of sex workers.

As a former sex worker, it was my choice and my right to elevate men to a “superior” position aka customers on which I depended for my money – just as any other freelancer, or employee, actually.

And while certainly counterintuitive, as a feminist I MUST support a woman’s right to act in denigrating and misogynist pornographic productions if that is her choice, be it for money or because she actually likes it that way (yes, those women exist and their preference is valid and they GET TO take it to screen for cash).

Sex trafficking, coerced sex work, and child prostitution should be prosecuted more aggressively, and I say kill the pimps and the clients. But sex work in and of itself, needs to be every sex worker’s free and legalized choice.

“But Marxist feminists are pressed to accept this sexualisation of ourselves and our bodies as empowering.”

To me, it was, thank you very much. I finally accepted myself as a woman rather than a lump of fat with female genitalia of undefined gender for lack of conformity. It was empowering as hell, and no third party has a right to get between me and that sense of empowerment.

Sex work also reduces a woman to her body no more than a football player is reduced to his legs, a surgeon to his hands, or a teacher to his brain. Liberal feminists are accused of centering feminism on the female body, but Marxist feminists also seem unable or unwilling to view sex work as the same commodification of parts of our bodies as any other line of work. As a phone monkey, I commodified my voice – so fucking what?

“Yet sex work is not work like any other. Liberal feminists seek to legitimise their arguments by claiming that sex is a commodity.

But it is not — sex is a means through which a commodity is consumed and the commodity being consumed is the woman’s body. Prostitution will always exist, they say. It is inevitable, they say.”

People not in the industry need to shut up about the industry because of garbage like this statement. The way of consumption doesn’t make sex any less of a commodity. Who gets to decide whether sex or the body is the commodity? I’ll tell you: the sex worker and absolutely nobody else. How is it different from massage? Is it also evil to consume a massage therapist’s hands? Or is the massage the commodity?

“This provides men with the right to the sexual use of a woman and her body, validating the sexual objectification of women and male entitlement.”

Yeah well, that is how a transaction works. You offer something, the other person pays for it and thereby buys the right to use it within the agreed upon terms. Shocker!

“This distorted idea perpetuates the myth that women somehow have “agency” and “choice” over their own bodies in an industry run overwhelmingly by men.”

Is it a myth though? Maybe where the author is from. My stint in sex work was a choice, it was my idea because I wanted money for a trip to Japan and not die a geriatric virgin. Some feminists need to stop depicting us women as cattle. Yes, we are disadvantaged, yes, this is still a man’s world, yes, sexism and rape culture exists, BUT WE ARE STILL PEOPLE CAPABLE OF FREE WILL.

“This often happens by force in the widespread instances of trafficking that prop up the industry. Should we adhere to calls for the decriminalisation of prostitution just because a minority of women feel “empowered’’ in their attempts to “reclaim” this industry?”

Often, not always. Also, yes, decriminalize it, because then pimps have less leeway. Also, speak for your own damn country. It is decriminalized in many places, and it works. Netherlands, anyone?

“This perspective does not resonate with the many horrors faced by women in this trade every day. Calls for decriminalisation are damaging and legitimise the abuse of women.”

Guess what, it was horrible to cry myself to sleep with joint pain after a day of wiping other people’s piss for minimum wage, but nobody is throwing a pity party for cleaners! And there is no abuse in the VERY COMMON scenario where a woman chooses sex work and the average customer sticks to her terms. I had quite a few customers in those 3 years. Most by far were respectful and far from abusive.

“Those who seek to decriminalise this industry ignore the way in which the sex trade is structured through capitalist exploitation, poverty and women’s oppression. The only group that will benefit from this is pimps.”

Wrong. By experience, women who can openly and safely work in this industry, are not as vulnerable to pimps as those who don’t have any authority to turn to. There were far fewer pimps in the Antwerp-based Villa Tinto brothel than elsewhere. What did VT offer? On-site cop shop and doctor, hi-tech safety measures, and rules for all to adhere to. The sex workers there were registered with the cop shop and protected by the latter. The only cost? Daily room rent of €60. Sooo who’s being exploited there? The only non-sex worker staff I saw there, was an old woman and an MTF trans lady working as receptionist, not exactly people who come in and rape you on your coffee break.  You know what’s great for pimps? Helpless, lone street girls who are secretive about their job and have nobody watching out for them. Put them in a legal, open brothel where the cops and the municipality have an eye on them, what pimp is gonna go there?

“Socialists should be assisting and supporting women to exit the sex trade and punish those who drive the demand for it.”

Punish sex workers for choosing $250 an hour over $8 an hour, I see. How very feminist.

“The Nordic model does exactly as is set out above. It decriminalises those who are prostituted, provides vital services to help people exit the industry and makes buying people for sex a criminal offence. That way, we attack the problem at its root by reducing demand.”

So you decriminalize the fish, but drain the water, I see. How very feminist. Go on, drive my customers away so I have to go back to wiping piss for minimum wage, how very fucking feminist and supportive.

“Pornography, meanwhile, was specifically designed by and for the male fantasy, ignoring women as human beings altogether.”

Bla bla bla, so don’t sign up for a role and let those who wanna, make money with it.

“Porn is often violent and extreme and the language used in porn titles is dehumanising. A quick scan of Pornhub will show titles such as: “brutalised,” “hammered,” “destroyed,” “punished” etc.”

So is wrestling. Boo fucking hoo.

“There is no such thing as “feminist porn” — the concept of commodifying sex is fundamentally capitalist and unethical and this is regardless of how diverse the cast is or how well the actors are treated.”

Stop making capitalism a gender thing. Every industry is capitalist. Smartphones, books, clothes, pets, OMG SO ANTIFEMINIST

“As long as men can see women having sex on camera at the click of a button, we cannot hope to tackle male entitlement to women in wider society.”

Women also enjoy porn, get with the program.

“The view of any human being as a means of production or a commodity is fundamentally anti-communist and completely ignores the resistance to women’s exploitation which is central to communist thought.”

And who says communism is the way to go? And why single out sex work when any person in any job is a means of production directly or indirectly? I’m a dog breeder, I produce dogs and am a means of dog production, am I harming myself or womanhood with it? LOL!

“A woman’s genitals are not a means of production capable of being seized.”

But a footballer’s legs are? K. You know what, let every individual woman decide what her genitalIA are.

“and forge towards human emancipation.”

I did that when I decided to make €250 an hour getting laid to get Kubozuka’s autograph.

“the struggle for equal pay for equal work,”

As a sex worker, I got MORE pay for LESS work than most men 😂

And have you ever thought communism through? Abolishing all private property, and everything belonging to everyone, means I get to cuddle my cat now, and a hungry person gets to eat him later. I can’t walk through the bathroom of the house my mother bought with her hard-earned money, because 2 dozen strangers are lying on the floor. Hell no, keep private property private. Buy your own shit. Can’t? Tough, life ain’t fair. Nobody can have everything. A functioning socialist state like Germany, where necessities are accessible to all, should do.

And my body is indeed my private property, to commodify or keep to myself AS I PLEASE – that is feminism.


My vagina is mine to sell.

27 Aug

Isn’t it very anti-feminist to encourage free female promiscuity, but discourage women from gaining profit from it? Slut walks for free female sexuality are cool – they are in my book – but all the so-called feminists come rushing out screeching that you’re raping yourself when you bill your partner for the same damn thing plus, perhaps, prioritizing his desires as a customer to the degree you are comfortable with. But isn’t accommodating a partner to the extent of your comfort, the basis for any consensual fuck?

What prompted this? Well, I just found an image pop up on my newsfeed from an anti-rape apologist page. The image read:

“Sex doesn’t sell. Erosion of female self-esteem does. The feeling of superiority over women does. Turning women into things to be studied, scrutinized, judged, and then calling it ‘sex’, does. Objectification sells.”

Uh, well, no, I disagree as I disagree with “Dogs bark” – some do indeed, and some do so much that they need a good gob smack. Fuck, I hate noisy dogs. But many also do not. My dogs do not bark unless there is someone at the door or the dog who attacked us repeatedly, walks by the house. The above is a blanket statement, a gross generalization, and those never benefit anyone.

First of all, this is made exclusively about female sex appeal. Then why do male escorts, porn actors, and strippers make good money, too? And are they not objectified? And is there a globally valid and proven difference in how a man values his sexuality as opposed to a woman? Do fuck-happy cishet men always overstate their importance, while fuck-happy cishet females always meekly bow to male desire? Cishet males are just the biggest market for the sex industry because they’re the loudest about their desires. I bet if women weren’t as meek about our desires, we would have more porn produced to our taste, because it’s all about money, and money is where there is demand. Yes, our sexuality is judged more harshly than cishet males’, but no, in the West, we are not stopped from living it. Our sexuality is treated unfairly, but it is still ours to practice, and many things we do sexually, are of our own desire.
Back to objectification of women and men… Let’s be honest here, do all women really get wet for his personality, never for the nice ass? “Sex sells” when I replay Game of Thrones episodes for the scenes of Ser Loras and whoever he had in bed (other MEN). Sex sells when I watch any kind of porn. Hell, I objectify men all the time. I have half a dozen numbers in my phone whose messages I ignore unless I want them over for Netflix & Chill. I won’t even answer when they’re worried about me if I’m not currently falling apart with lust. I remember their parts better than their faces, and I get annoyed when their lips are moving rather than their hips. First thing I care about at a new workplace, is if the men are worth flirting with, and if they’re not, I find myself pissed at having to work at all. I might actually have been objectified by males in my entourage less than the other way around.
The only difference is that as women, we have not established the social and physical power to enforce our views of men and shape sex culture accordingly. But are we any more “deep” about how we view men, than vice-versa? PLEASE! The power dynamic is the only thing that makes female objectification more powerful and damaging than male objectification, but it does NOT define us as women, and our self-esteem does NOT depend on whether or not we willingly partake in objectification in order to get our libido or wallet satiated. I actually hold myself in too high esteem as to willingly work 48 hours of a boring job for minimum wage when I can work 10 hours for as much as others earn in a month and get laid in the process. And I mean, is selling your body for physical labour such as scrubbing toilets or building walls, not objectification? Simply of the non-sexual kind? We are all whores, we are all exploited, and we are all objectified, as long as our money depends on someone else’s satisfaction, be it with our typing skills or paving work, or sex. Making sex a special case, is only right on the condition that it be applied exclusively to those individuals who feel that way. Objectively speaking, there is no valid reason why everyone of us would feel the same. I get to view my cunt as a toy, as a temple, or as a golden goose. It is my cunt. And I am no victim if I happen to enjoy a man enjoying himself more than a man making a joke of himself trying way too hard to give me an orgasm.
And making the commodification of sex about flaws of a woman’s character (low self-esteem etc.) is also unfair and degrades women more than any porn flick they willingly signed up for, because it denies us agency. I can say Nope to a degrading script, I can’t say Nope to reading that I have low self-esteem for being commercially promiscuous. The statement is basically slut-shaming because it links character flaws to sex. But what about our hands when we’re dish washers at restaurants, or our feet when we deliver mail? But yet, there’s a distinction between that and our genitalia, and we’re all supposed to feel the same about it? Isn’t that an oppressive notion? Except victims of crime, we can choose whether or not to work in the sex industry, but we can’t choose what is said about us, and this pic quoted above says things many of us rightly take offense in. This statement turns all women who commodify sex, into a commodity, into victims with no say in their sexuality. It dictates an aspect of our sexuality on our behalf by making blanket assumptions about our self-image vs. our sexual behaviour – and to that, I say fuck you. We have a say. This isn’t an issue of self-esteem, it doesn’t need to be an issue bigger than what to order at Starbuck’s, depending on the individual’s attitude. To some women, sex is sacred, to some women, any sex not prioritizing the female pleasure is rape, and to some women, sex is a sport, a hobby, or a currency – and none of that has to have anything to do with our self-esteem, and none of it necessarily determines our roles as victims or agents.
Yes, objectification both exists and sells, and yes, we are helplessly objectified and sexualized because we cannot dictate how someone else sees us, but as long as no action is imposed on us, we are still the bosses of what we do with our sexuality or how to deal with objectification, consequences notwithstanding.
The statement could be wonderfully correct if it weren’t presumed dependant on low self-esteem and exclusive victimization of women. As yes, sex and objectification can overlap and sell. But in reality, there are confident, proud women who happily commodify their sexuality, and they should not be demeaned into victim roles by blanket statements such as this. Not all women who respect themselves consider sex something sacred. Personally, I consider it a sport, and I feel stupid every time I play without getting paid when I could, even though I enjoy it. I’m basically just another athlete who sucks at marketing, the only reason I’m not going pro.
“Sex sells” only inherently victimizes women if the assumption is true that all women and their sexuality is something they have no say over, and is linked in one way only to self-esteem: the more liberal and accommodating the sexuality, the lower the self-esteem. But many of us do willingly sign up for sex work, do willingly indulge in promiscuity, do willingly submit to male desires because it happens to turn us on to please, we do not all throw our sexuality around just because we feel we owe it to the patriarchy. Some of us do because it’s fun or good money, and we have no problem with it. Declaring us victims through blanket statements just because the statements are true in some or even many cases, is inherently violent.
Isn’t it basically very anti-feminist to encourage free female promiscuity, but discourage women from gaining profit from it? Liberating female sexuality includes losing the assumption that something has to be wrong with us (such as low self-esteem) or that we are victims (the opposite of people with agency and authority) for us to commodify our vaginas the way other people commodify their feet to toss news papers over fences. Liberating female sexuality means accepting and supporting that some women enjoy themselves in the sex industry and act of their own accord.
Feminism means to shout “Yay for prudes” as loudly as “Yay for whores”. It means to let us be individual about our bodies and sex, not collective.